Whether it is a long-term terminal illness or a sudden death in the family, it can be very difficult to know how to help your children comes to terms with the finality of it all.
Firstly complete honesty is best with your children. Explain to them what is happening in as clear a way as possible using the level of language that your children will understand. An older child will have a more clear idea of the permanence of death than younger children.
If possible allow them to spend time with their loved one towards the end. Maybe as a family, you could all make a memory box together which you can then return to later when they feel ready to.
Children will all react differently to the news and have different questions and views concerning the situation, and although you will also be suffering it will be of help to you all to discuss your feelings, accepting that you will all be feeling sad, angry, lost, and that it’s ok to cry but it is also ok to smile and be happy.
It is important you answer any questions your children may have as honestly as possible. Discuss with them what will happen at the funeral and if they are old enough to make the decision, let your children decide whether they wish to attend. For a younger child you may decide that they do not attend but you could take them to the cemetery, crematorium at a later date to help them through the process of grieving.
Cruse has some great advice http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/Children.html
There is no set time limit on grief and you and your loved ones will need to take it one day at a time.
http://childdevelopment-shropshire.com/
