Young children and chores

The age-old dilemma - should children be made to help with household chores or are they too young to be burdened. This can cause quite a bit of friction between couples, with one parent believing they should whereas the other parent may think it is completely wrong to expect them to. This may be due to cultural sensitivities and their own upbringing and it is important for parents to discuss their expectations and reach a conclusion that all are happy with.

I believe it is important for young children to have small chores to do around the house. It could be as simple as emptying the washing machine, pairing up the socks or putting their dirty washing in the laundry basket. It all contributes to them learning life-skills, responsibility and independence and being able to care for themselves as they get older. Young children usually love to help their parents and it can be a great way to spend time together. At first their attempts will not be perfect, but please resist the temptation to ‘clear up’ their jobs as it will only discourage them, and they will eventually improve. It can also be a great opportunity to boost their self-esteem when they achieve what has been asked of them and you praise their efforts.

As parents you know your children’s capabilities and interests better than anyone and will be able to decide which chores will be appropriate. You could start with simple tasks first and gradually introduce more complex chores as they become more proficient. You can buy child size tools, like brushes etc. which will help eliminate frustration and encourage them to work together as a team. It is entirely up to you whether you decide to offer pocket money for chores, would you be prepared to withhold the money if the chores were not carried out in the time frame you established? You could be setting yourself an expensive precedent for future tasks. For more complex jobs as they get older you could break them down into smaller achievable steps.

It is all about what works for you as a family and will promote confidence, elf-esteem and independence for your children.

Encouraging communication development

Your child's brain develops rapidly between birth and the age of two. Their ability to learn and develop will continue during the important early years of their life.  Whilst modern technology has its benefits, try turning off the television or computer and take the time to create positive learning opportunities with your child.

The following activities are just a few ideas that can support your child's development:

• Sit on the floor and practice turn-taking by rolling a ball or car back and forth between you. Make eye contact before rolling, gain attention by calling your child’s name, and allow time for your child to respond.

• Social greetings – support your child to wave hello and goodbye. Encourage them to look at the person and model waving, give them help to wave too.

• Encourage your child to look at you when you speak, call their name to gain their attention

• Hold objects at eye level to encourage your child to look up and make eye contact with you.

• Encourage your child to communicate, do not anticipate his/her needs.

More activities will be posted to continue the supported of your child's development.

http://childdevelopment-shropshire.com/

Toilet training tips

At the local Baby Fair last weekend, one of the most popular information leaflets that parents asked for was the one outlining toilet training tips. It seems that parents find the whole issue of toilet training a very stressful experience. There can be too much helpful advice from friends and family which can create confusion, worry and feelings of inadequacy.  

I've outlined eight points below for you to keep in mind when you are wondering whether or not to start toilet training.

Signs that indicate your child is ready for toilet training

• Your child is uncomfortable with a wet nappy and wants it to be changed

• Your child asks to use the potty or toilet

• Your child’s poo’s are regular and predictable

• Your child asks to wear training pants or underwear

• Your child can follow simple instructions

• Your child is able to let you know when they need to use the potty, either by facial expressions, or movements

• Your child is able to stay dry for up to two hours at a time or wakes up dry after a nap

• Your child can pull their own pants up and down

I hope you find these tips helpful. Remember it's not a competition or a race. Each child is an individual and will achieve success - it is important you remain patient and are positive. I'd love to hear how you get on.

http://childdevelopment-shropshire.com/

Modern Family Life

Communication is the foundation for all learning and development. The majority of children are able to develop these skills with little additional help, but for an increasing number of children in the UK will go on to need more specific learning support as they progress through school.

This probably comes as no surprise to many, when the amount of time parents spend interacting with their children is observed. Many times I have seen babies and toddlers taken out of the car, plopped in their buggies with not one word spoken to them by their carer. The adult will usually have their mobile phone firmly clamped to the sides of their face, chatting away to whomever is on the other end of the phone, which is obviously more important than communicating with their child. More often than not the child will have a dummy/pacifier in their mouths, preventing them from making any intelligible sounds, even if the adult was paying attention. Sadly an opportunity is missed to talk about what is happening, where they are going, what they will be doing together.

Even families with older children can be seen in restaurants, airport departure lounges all over the world, all playing, parents included, on the latest piece of technology and not talking with each other. Surely they should be talking about what they're eating, or where they're going? Modern technology can be great for teaching and learning but in moderation. Wouldn't it be great if families could jointly make a decision to turn off all electronic gadgets at a set time each day and just spend some time talking and communicating with each other?

http://childdevelopment-shropshire.com/

Helping children cope with bereavement

Whether it is a long-term terminal illness or a sudden death in the family, it can be very difficult to know how to help your children comes to terms with the finality of it all.

Firstly complete honesty is best with your children. Explain to them what is happening in as clear a way as possible using the level of language that your children will understand. An older child will have a more clear idea of the permanence of death than younger children.

If possible allow them to spend time with their loved one towards the end. Maybe as a family, you could all make a memory box together which you can then return to later when they feel ready to.
Children will all react differently to the news and have different questions and views concerning the situation, and although you will also be suffering it will be of help to you all to discuss your feelings, accepting that you will all be feeling sad, angry, lost, and that it’s ok to cry but it is also ok to smile and be happy.

It is important you answer any questions your children may have as honestly as possible. Discuss with them what will happen at the funeral and if they are old enough to make the decision, let your children decide whether they wish to attend. For a younger child you may decide that they do not attend but you could take them to the cemetery, crematorium at a later date to help them through the process of grieving.

Cruse has some great advice  http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/Children.html

There is no set time limit on grief and you and your loved ones will need to take it one day at a time.

http://childdevelopment-shropshire.com/

Social networking causing poor communication and violent behaviour

The increased use of social networking sites is being blamed for the poor communication skills of young people and the increase in violent behaviour. Certainly virtual relationships do not provide the same opportunity for eye contact, observing facial expressions and body language, all of which contribute to social interaction and communication.

However, millions of people around the world use these networking sites and do not resort to violent behaviour when interacting with a real person. Perhaps part of the problem is poor parenting skills, sleep deprivation and an unhealthy diet which also contribute to children's difficulties in relating to others.

Even when parents are out with their children, there seems to be little interaction with them. The children can be seen playing on the latest gadget and their parents will be chatting away on their mobiles, not a word passing between them.

As with all things, moderation is key and parents should be responsible for managing the amount of time their children spend on these sites. Perhaps they could lead by example and turn off their own phones and spend time interacting with and listening to their children, teaching them an acceptable way to communicate with real people.

http://childdevelopment-shropshire.com/

Behaviour in the classroom

There have been reports recently in the press (see links below), about the inappropriate behaviour of students in the classroom and the strategies teachers have used in the belief, that humiliating the students in front of their peers will change that behaviour. What I've personally found most disturbing is that some of the readers comments at the end of the articles  appear to support the teacher's use of humiliating tags and punishments. Surely parents and teachers should work together to identify what triggers the inappropriate behaviour and find strategies to support the students to change.

Schools should be safe and nurturing environments,with qualified staff willing to work with parents to encourage and support their students to fulfil their potential.



http://www.khaleejtimes.com/kt-article-display-1.asp?section=educationnation&xfile=data/educationnation/2012/april/educationnation_april9.xml

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/education/dubai-s-indian-high-school-to-investigate-reports-of-student-humiliation-1.1011024

http://childdevelopment-shropshire.com/